As a 4-H Youth Development Extension Agent, I have the opportunity to attend a lot of trainings. These trainings range on everything from new curriculum to working with youth that have neurodivergent diagnoses. There is no telling the number of conversations we have on a myriad of topics. One of the recent conversations has to do with screen exposure (as adults we average about 7 hours a day, youth vary between 3-7.5 hours based on age) and what it means for the need for interpersonal communication skills.
Think about this – when you want to pick up a phone and talk with someone, do you just call them or do you text them to see if they are available to talk? Do you still use a phone or primarily video chat? Do you make time to go out with friends to the movies, lunch, or just to sit down and catch up in person? Do you think twice about getting behind the wheel and driving somewhere to do something? Seem like a strange series of questions? Well let me explain to you why I am asking.
More and more young people find it rude to be contacted out of the blue. I have actually been told I should text someone to see if it is ok to call them. That befuddles me because if they are busy when I call, they have the option of not answering and I can leave a message for them to return the call at their convenience. More and more young people tell me they have no need to learn to drive because they don’t need to go anywhere. They video chat with friends so they see them as often as they want and do not feel the need to share an experience (meal, craft, movie) with them. Their parents shop for them and they can get food delivered to their homes, so why should they ever leave? But, if they never leave how will they experience life and deal with people in the world around them?
This is part of why Robeson County 4-H offers an Etiquette program. This one-day camp has nothing to do with whether your pinkies should be up or down when drinking tea (FYI - that was never a thing). This is about gaining self-confidence, being able to handle everyday situations with grace and dignity, and being able to convey gratitude and respect to others. By having and displaying good manners, these young people will be better able to set themselves up for success in life.
During camp we will start with identifying rude behaviors and how to avoid them, or deal with them if necessary. Of course we will talk table manners, and visit the Carolina Hotel, where we will have an elegant lunch practicing table manners, lunch conversation, and they will learn tips on navigating this social situation. After our elegant lunch we will work on dressing for success, thank you notes, and conversation skills. Finally, they will host adults for a mixer and learn to balance food, introductions, and engage in conversations with folks of all generations. These skills are something they will keep forever, and maybe one day they will be training others because they will know good manners encompass everything they need to be successful in life.
